Resilience in the Face of Adversity
Adversity and Setbacks are part of life. They show up at work, in business, in our health, and in our family life. What defines us is how we choose to face them, whether they break us, or if we use them to grow stronger. The secret is reframing: deliberately choosing how we interpret and respond to challenges. Recently, I had the opportunity to speak at a conference, which allowed me to reflect on how my life has been shaped through reframing setbacks. More importantly, how many setbacks could have derailed my life.
"If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." - Wayne Dyer
In 2011, my life was in full throttle. I was an executive in a start-up oil & gas company, the price of oil was high, and my expectations were even higher! I took a break for a father-and-son road trip to the US, where we went skiing and travelled to California to watch a hockey game. On the drive back along the Oregon coast, we decided to rent some ATVs at the dunes north of Coos Bay for a bit of fun. However, that ended suddenly when I crashed the ATV and ended up with a broken neck and two broken arms. This resulted in spinal surgery and many months of recovery. As a founder in a company, this was not a great time to be laid up. When I did recover, I invested all my time, sweat, and energy into growing our company, just in time to see the oil price collapse and drive our company to near bankruptcy. It would have been easy to sink into despair; Instead, I chose to see survival itself as a gift; I could have been paralyzed or even dead. Whatever circumstances life brought me certainly could not be as bad!
Since then, I have experienced many more ups and downs that came with being an entrepreneur and the fluctuations of the economy; however, I have a totally different outlook on life and have learned a few lessons to share about turning personal pain into fuel for growth. Here are four powerful ways that I have learned to build resilience:
Reframing Setbacks as Learning: Every Mistake Is a Lesson
One of the most powerful reframing strategies is to see mistakes not as failures but as lessons. A setback becomes a feedback system, pointing out what needs to change. Consider a workplace incident, such as an equipment malfunction, that results in costly repairs and lost production. Initially, it feels like a disaster. But reframed, it is an opportunity for root-cause investigation, stronger systems, and corrective actions that prevent future failures. The mistake becomes a teacher, and a true setback would be not to take the time to reframe the situation and learn from the failure.
Before she became a billionaire entrepreneur and founder of Spanx, Sara Blakely faced a long string of setbacks. She failed the LSAT twice, worked odd sales jobs she didn't enjoy, and endured repeated rejection as she tried to break into the television industry. But instead of letting these experiences define her as a failure, she reframed them as preparation for the future. Each closed door, she believed, was redirecting her toward her true purpose. One of the most influential factors was her father, who would ask at the dinner table, "What did you fail at this week?" For him, failure wasn't something to be feared—it was a sign that you were trying, experimenting, and growing. This reframing of failure as learning became the cornerstone of Sara's mindset.
With only $5,000 in savings, Blakely began working on her idea for a new kind of women's undergarment. Dozens of manufacturers dismissed her, and early buyers weren't convinced. But she persisted, treating each rejection as feedback to refine her pitch and her product. Her grit and willingness to learn from every "no" eventually led to Spanx becoming a global brand, and in 2012, she became the world's youngest self-made female billionaire.
"Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently." - Henry Ford.
Practical tool: After any setback, ask two questions:
What is this teaching me?
What can I do differently next time?
Grit: Choosing Persistence Over Defeat
Reframing setbacks also means learning to see them as part of the long game rather than isolated failures. Angela Duckworth, who popularized the concept of grit, describes it as the unique combination of passion and perseverance over time. Grit is what carries us forward when motivation fades and when results don't come quickly. It is persistence through pain, disruption, and disappointment, anchored by a sense of purpose that outlasts temporary setbacks.
In 2016, I had the opportunity to see Bethany Hamilton speak. At just 13 years old, she faced a life-altering setback. An avid competitive surfer from Hawaii, she was attacked by a 14-foot tiger shark that tore off her left arm. Most people would have walked away from the sport, but Bethany's response became a global lesson in grit. Just one month after the attack, she was back in the water—learning to balance, paddle, and compete with one arm. Instead of dwelling on what she had lost, she reframed her setback as an opportunity to prove that passion and persistence can overcome almost anything.
Bethany went on to become a world-class professional surfer, defeating opponents with two arms and inspiring millions around the world. Using her platform to speak about resilience and determination, reminding others that setbacks don't define us—our response does. Her grit didn't just restore her career; it transformed her influence. She became the subject of documentaries, books, and the feature film Soul Surfer, all of which highlight her remarkable spirit.
Bethany's story and grit inspired me and serve as a powerful reminder: resilience is not the absence of hardship, but the choice to face it with unwavering determination and purpose.
"Grit is living life like it's a marathon, not a sprint." - Angela Duckworth
Practical tool: When facing a setback, write out your long-term vision. Remind yourself that this is one mile in a much longer journey. Persistence comes from perspective.
Growth Mindset: Change Defeat into Possibility
Perhaps the most empowering reframe is shifting from fixed thinking to a growth mindset. Instead of saying, "I can't do this," a growth mindset reframes it as, "I can't do this yet." That one additional word "yet" changes defeat into possibility. Carol Dweck's research on growth mindsets reveals that when we believe abilities can be developed, challenges cease to be threats and become opportunities.
When J.K. Rowling first finished her manuscript for Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, she was a single mother living on welfare. She sent it to 12 publishers—and every one rejected it. For many, this might have been the end of the road. But Rowling didn't see those "no's" as a verdict on her worth. Instead, she reframed them as feedback and opportunity.
Each rejection letter became a learning moment. Some suggested the story was too long, others that it wasn't marketable enough. Rather than discarding her dream, Rowling refined her manuscript—tightening the narrative, sharpening characters, and clarifying themes—until her story became leaner, more compelling, and more publishable.
Her persistence paid off when Bloomsbury, a small London publisher, agreed to print the book. Even then, the initial print run was just 500 copies, but Rowling's refined manuscript carried a magic that resonated with readers. What began as rejection after rejection grew into a series that has sold over 500 million copies worldwide.
"The only thing standing between you and your goal is the story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it" - Jordan Belfort.
Practical tool: Monitor your self-talk. Replace words of limitation with words of growth. "I failed" becomes "I learned." "I can't" becomes "I can't yet."
Gratitude: Finding the Gift in the Challenge
Gratitude shifts focus from what we've lost to what remains. Even in difficult situations, there is always something to be thankful for. Gratitude doesn't erase hardship, but it reframes it in a way that fuels hope and optimism.
Nelson Mandela was imprisoned for 27 years (1962–1990) in South Africa under the apartheid regime. His crime? Fighting for equality. Mandela was a leader of the African National Congress (ANC) and became a central figure in resisting apartheid—a brutal system of racial segregation and oppression. He was arrested and convicted of sabotage and conspiracy to overthrow the government, after supporting both peaceful protest and armed resistance when the regime violently suppressed dissent.
Mandela endured gruelling conditions on Robben Island and later in Pollsmoor Prison—hard labour, isolation, poor food, and limited contact with family. Yet even there, he found ways to practice gratitude. He was grateful for the opportunity to reflect, study, and develop as a leader. He was grateful for the camaraderie of fellow prisoners who supported one another. And he even chose to be grateful for the chance to understand his jailers better, building relationships with some of them that later informed his philosophy of reconciliation.
Instead of leaving prison consumed by bitterness, Mandela emerged with a spirit of forgiveness and gratitude for the opportunity to help his country heal. He once reflected: "I never lose. I either win or learn." That mindset, rooted in gratitude, allowed him to lead South Africa out of apartheid and into democracy with dignity and grace.
"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more." - Melody Beattie.
The same principle applies to growing up in hardship. Some people hold on to bitterness and resentment their entire lives—blaming parents, poverty, or missed opportunities for everything that goes wrong. Yet that anger often cripples them more than the original hardship itself. The past can’t be changed, but it can be reframed. By choosing to reinterpret those experiences—as lessons in strength, perspective, or empathy—people can release the grip of resentment. Letting go, and sometimes even forgiving, lightens the burden and creates space for growth. Gratitude then transforms small steps forward into victories. Their past becomes not an anchor but fuel for resilience. As psychologist Viktor Frankl observed in Man’s Search for Meaning: “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
Practical tool:. Each day, write down or share with someone the things you're thankful for —even during setbacks. This practice rewires your brain to see strength instead of scarcity.
Final Thoughts
Setbacks are not the enemy—they are the raw material of growth. Gratitude teaches us to focus on what remains. Learning reframes mistakes as data. Grit pushes us to persist. A growth mindset reminds us that our story is still being written. Reframing doesn't make challenges disappear. But it does transform how we experience them—and how we emerge on the other side.
Albert Einstein once said, "In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity." That's the heart of resilience: not avoiding setbacks, but using them as stepping stones toward something greater.
Ron Bettin, MBA, CMC is a Canadian executive and public speaker with more than 25 years of leadership and entrepreneurial experience. He co-founded several companies and provides management consulting through Adduco Inc. to large and small corporations. Ron strongly understands the importance of building value and creating success. He is a Southern Alberta Institute of Technology graduate with an MBA from Queen's School of Business.